It just seemed like the smart thing to do. So, without hesitation, I went up to Sam Metcalf, the president of CRM (and someone that I love and trust) and asked him if he would be open to praying for me. We happened to be at the same place at the same time, and I thought, “Why not take advantage of the moment?” So, I did. He got a few others to join him and together they prayed for me.
I had been struggling with an issue with my voice. Not exactly sure what it is, but it is really frustrating. I can’t project very well. It’s ok for a short time, but when I need to get louder or if I’ve been talking for a while, it is like trying to push air through a thin tube, that just keeps getting thinner and thinner. I have had all kinds of prayer many times through the year that I’ve been struggling with it and I have seen some breakthrough, but not complete healing. I really want to be healed. I mean, it’s my job to talk. So, I kinda need my voice to be at full capacity.
Here is another reason that I asked Sam, specifically, to pray for me. I have wondered if my struggle with my voice is an attack from the enemy. Because I had many prophetic words that I have a voice and it needs to be heard. Interesting that my physical voice is the very thing that needs healing. So, curses have been broken and lies have been renounced. But, still no healing. And here is where Sam comes in to the picture.
I have been a part of a denomination for over 30 years that limits women. I love the people that I have known and worked with but they are wrong. Actually wrong, by not allowing women to take their place of God-given leadership and be who God made them to be. It makes me sad. And it’s affected me. I have felt like there was this ceiling over me, keeping me from the full potential of who I am as a woman of influence. Sure, in the local church I could do whatever I wanted, since my husband was the senior pastor. And he believed in me. And my church loved me and loved hearing from me. But, as far as going any further, there was that ceiling. So, I was content. I was good. But, stifled.
After joining CRM, a mission agency that not only accepts women but encourages us to do whatever God is calling us to do, and celebrates that, well, it has been freeing to say the least. And, I can be smart sometimes. I put 2 and 2 together and thought, “Maybe Sam could lift that ceiling off of me, as the leader of CRM and authority over me, and set me free. And maybe even healing could come to my voice!” So, I asked him to pray and just give God an opportunity to do something in me.
As they gathered to lay hands on me to pray that afternoon, I sensed the presence of God powerfully. There were many things prayed that were significant to me, including physical healing for my voice. I have not received the healing that I am looking for, but something else really important happened to me that day. It’s been 8 months since that warm day on Lake Powell, but I have had a hard time putting in to words until now, what I think happened.
The spiritual authority that Sam carries was imparted to me that day. He removed the ceiling. He called me forth. And he released me to be all that God has created me to be, for this moment in time and for the future I face. He invited me to “soar” as he put it. He cancelled any assignments (and there were some, I know) that the enemy had for me and anointed my voice with the power of the Holy Spirit for the task give to me with CRM and beyond. He honored me. He released me. He gave me spiritual authority.
Today, I am a different person. I still struggle with my physical voice. And I will continue to seek healing. And I also know that if I am not healed, I might be like the apostle Paul, still serving with a “thorn in my flesh.” But, one thing I know right now. My spiritual voice is something very different. I walk in greater authority. I am confident in the place at the table that God has given to me. I am certain God is going to use me. I am free to be me. To be the woman God has always wanted me to be. Part of that is because I am embraced to be that woman, by the leadership and authority over me. But, more importantly, because of Jesus.
I believe we must recognize the authority that God has given to us. In whatever our realm. And give it away, so others can walk in it as well. And thus, make an impact on the world, or at the very least, your world.